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ariel. twenty-something. canada.
books, horses, sleep, school.
need to know more? i have an ask.

this new job…

this new job…

well, I haven’t been on tumblr in months…. and my only reason is because i was too lazy to get out my laptop and I couldn’t remember my password and it wasn’t saved on my netbook. but i’m back now and la la la, hi.

it’s only been two days since we said goodbye and I miss him so much. what is the rest of my life going to feel like?

it’s been a long time since i’ve been this sad.

i thought i would move on and be happy but i’ve moved on and i’m still not happy.

i thought this time things would go somewhere but they haven’t and i need to stop trying in actuality this time.

i’m gonna ask him one more time. i’ve got a month to work up the nerve. after that, i’m done. for good.

"I never think badly about you or of you. I dunno. I just don’t, even when you’re mean to me I don’t."

seriously though why is my life so hard.

my feet are literally falling apart cause of my cleats, my right leg is forever ruined because i like being aggressive at soccer and i’m still not over him even though i’m sleeping with someone else. i relapsed tonight and cried on the way home. i hate how he makes me feel. i hate how i care still. i don’t want to.

"i want us to be normal again"

I guess I’m back to shitty dates with shitty dudes every weekend.

I hate my life.

im going to ask him tomorrow. i swear

"is this going anywhere? are we only ever going to be friends?"

i don’t know how i will handle the answer.